14 February 2025
By your valentine, Margery Brews
In February 1477, at the village of Topcroft in Norfolk, Margery Brews dictated a letter to her suitor John Paston III, calling him her ‘right well-beloved valentine’ and expressing the depth of her love. While John’s reply to Margery does not survive, her words form the oldest known Valentine’s letter in English. The letter (Add MS 43490, f. 23r) is currently on display in our major exhibition, Medieval Women: In Their Own Words, which runs till 2 March 2025.
The earliest Valentine’s letter, by Margery Brews to John Paston III; February, 1477: Add MS 43490, f. 23r
Margery’s letter expresses great affection for John at a turbulent time for the couple, when it was by no means guaranteed their marriage would proceed. She asks after his welfare and prays to God to keep him safe. She confesses that she is not in good health ‘of body, nor of heart’ and nor will she be until she hears from him. She begs John not to leave her and promises in turn that she will not forsake him. Fascinatingly, Margery also asks him to keep the letter private, and not to show it to ‘any other earthly creature’, perhaps wary of the influence of other members of his family.
The letter includes several lines of Middle English poetry composed by Margery to express her commitment to him:
And yf ye commande me to keep me true where-ever I go,
Iwyse I wil do all my might yowe to love and neur no mo.
And yf my freendys say that I do amys,
Their schal not me let so for to do,
My herte me byddys euer more to love yowe
Truly ouer all erthley thing.
And yf thei be neuer so wroth,
I tryst it schall be bettur in tyme commyng.
And if you command me to keep me true wherever I go,
Of course, I will use all my might to love you and never no more.
And if my friends say that I do amiss,
They shall not let me so for to do,
My heart bids me ever more to love you,
Truly over all earthly things,
And if they be never so wroth,
I trust it shall be better in time coming.
At the root of Margery’s anxiety was a complex set of marital negotiations between their families. The Paston family, up-and-coming members of the Norfolk aristocracy, felt that Margery’s dowry was too small, while her father, Sir Thomas Brews, a landowner in his own right, was not inclined to increase the payment and evidently felt that there were better matches for his daughter. In a letter sent later the same month (Add MS 43490, f. 24r), Margery suggests that negotiations were breaking down completely, stating plainly to John that she has done all she can in the matter and that her father ‘will no more money parte with all in that behalfe but an hundred and fifty marke, whech is ryght far fro the accomplyshment of yowr desyre'. John was asking for at least 400 marks and a loan of £120 from Margery's father.
A subsequent letter sent by Margery to John Paston the same month; Add MS 43490, f. 24r
If not for the efforts of Margery’s mother, Elizabeth Brews, the marriage may never have happened. Elizabeth seems to have actively encouraged the relationship and acted as a go-between for the families. According to Margery, Elizabeth ‘laboured the matter to my father full diligently’, and eventually suggested in a letter of her own to John that he stay with the family on St Valentine’s Day to thrash out the details in person, reminding him that the feast day was a propitious time for lovers. Her strategy was successful. The families reached an agreement and the pair were married two months later.
Margery signing off her second letter to John Paston III, 'By your valentine': Add MS 43490, f. 24r
To learn more about the Paston Family and see the earliest Valentine's letter in person, visit our exhibition Medieval Women: In Their Own Words, on show at the British Library from 25 October 2024 to 2 March 2025. You can purchase your tickets online now.
This exhibition is made possible with support from Joanna and Graham Barker, Unwin Charitable Trust, and Cockayne – Grants for the Arts: a donor advised fund held at the London Community Foundation.
Calum Cockburn