1. Put out the cat.

2. Put out the rubbish.

3. Make a nice cup of tea (you wouldn't want a horrible cup of tea, would you?).

4. Double-check that you haven't confused the cat with the rubbish.

5. Tune into BBC HD at 19.00 for Ruling by the Book, the first episode of Illuminations: The Private Lives of Medieval Kings.

6. Phone all your friends and tell them to watch it on the BBC iPlayer.

7. Feel justifiably pleased with yourself.