THE BRITISH LIBRARY

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1 posts from January 2020

09 January 2020

If Websites Could Talk - Part 3 (this time it's personal)

By Hedley Sutton, Team Leader, Asian & African Studies Reference Services

After a long gap of time, we are back eavesdropping on a conversation among U.K. domain websites as they try and decide which of their number should be recognized as the most extraordinary site of all.

“Who would like to begin?” said the Museum of Fenland Drainage. “Perhaps you, Catholic Association of Performing Arts?”

“If you’re going to get all religious, then I think we should be considered,” said the Equinox Pilgrimage of the Glastonbury Zodiac.

“Religions are merely derelict husks of an impoverished intellectual paradigm,” mused the UK Sartre Society. “We’d be far more inclined to nominate a site encapsulating the essential shallowness of contemporary culture.”

“Such as … us, perhaps?” chipped in Desperate Optimists.

“Rubbish!” cried Primal Bushcraft & Survival. “We want a site that’s rugged and tough!”

“Then you surely mean us,” said Adrenalin Addicts. “We’re much tougher than you!”

“Now now, just calm down,” said the Challenging Behaviour Foundation soothingly. “Why don’t you two make up and have a little chat with the Balloon and Party Professionals Association? If you don’t, we may need to use the services of Action for Happiness. Or in the worst case scenario, the British Pain Society. ”

“If you are lucky, you might make the British Blacklist."

“How about a song?” chuckled the *Falmouth Fish Sea Shanty Collective*. We’d now like to entertain you all with a duet with our dear friends the Cornish Sardine Management Association. The National Federation of Fishmongers may like to join in too.”

“Fish doesn’t seem to agree with us,” said the UK Men’s Sheds Association, changing the subject. “We usually find we have to go running to the Association of Registered Colon Hydrotherapists.”

In the background the Apostrophe Protection Society could be seen, mouthing the words “Thank you.”

“Keep still!” pleaded the Big Wasp Survey. “I think I see one. Look out, Flea Circus Research Library, it’s heading your way!”

“We’re getting off the point,” sighed the Pylon Appreciation Society. “A sing song or an insect hunt aren’t going to help us decide.”

With time running out, they eventually decided that the best qualified candidate site would be … Perfect Information.

Also see:

If websites could talk

If websites could talk (again)